Managers: When You’re Stupid Your Whole Company Suffers

By now you may have heard some of the stories circulating about some sizable companies laying-off tens, if not hundreds of workers. Now that news alone would not be so news-worthy. This sort of thing happens all the time. You might be surprised to learn that some of these corporate villains are popular brands. I won’t call them out by name, but you’d recognize one as a name that pairs nicely with a comic named Costello, one owns a famous dog food brand and another has a globally iconic rodent. What sets these stories apart from the routine is the message the businesses deliver to the soon to be unemployed. Full disclosure:  I have not seen any of the official notices sent to these people, but no matter what was written, I envision the recipients interpreted it to sound something like a villain from a B-movie: We’re gonna lay you off…. But we’re gonna lay you off slow, see? And before you’re gone, we’re gonna shove it in your face and make you train your cheaper replacement. And you’re gonna do it the way we want you to or you get a PGA-sized severance check for the amount of Jack Squat.  Oh, and another thing: For the rest of your natural life, don’t even think of bitching about this to your friends, family, the press, politicians or any other loser you associate with, because if you do, we will crush you like a bug.

The rest of this post is directed to “those guys” responsible for these boneheaded moves: 

Do you feel better? Good. Congratulations. You got rid of all those old, over priced employees and managed to crap all over their dignity by having them train their replacements.

Way to go, Einstein. Did you deliver this message with a straight face? Well, savor that tiny victory because with it comes the agony of PR defeat. While you’re raising a glass to toast your superior strategic mind, the people you so spinelessly cut loose are about to lawyer-up, possibly even as a class. You'd better hope some lawyer out there who’s smarter and meaner than yours sees to it that your scheme gets gutted like an Ozark catfish.  You’ve driven your image into the ditch…enjoy the view. And good luck attracting the best talent in the future….people will know you suck at managing. The best people have choices and you aren’t likely to make the cut, so enjoy recruiting from the adverse-selection pool. And that stone-on-metal squeal you hear? That’s your reputation being publicly ground into to fine powder.